Our family officially grew a very tiny bit Friday …….
As many of you know, this blog was written first and foremost as a way to keep our family accountable to our finances in the hopes of making a second adoption possible. A reader of this blog (who I have never met in person) is responsible for matching us actually! This is just a letter to our new little girl. We are so thankful for her and I was excited to share with everyone! Please read along….
Dear Charlotte Elise ~
Welcome little lady. We are so happy to meet you. We are humbled and honored to be your parents.
My name is Kate, but you can call me Mommy. While we are on the subject, I would like to request that you say ‘Mommy’ first. Your sister and brother both decided to say ‘Daddy’ before ‘Mommy’ and it would really be special if you could break the mold. Your sister’s first word was actually a very clear and distinct ‘Hello’ at 4 months followed by ‘fish’ and ‘Dada’ at five months, your brother had mastered ‘Paca’ (bye bye in Russian) when we first met him – I would love for you to start with ‘Mommy’ if it is all the same to you. You might want to know, I have always wanted to adopt. My body can make babies on it’s own (see exhibit A – your big sister), we chose adoption. Please know you were chosen and prayed for; for years before birth.
This is your Daddy, his name is Harry. He is beyond excited to have a new teensie baby girl to cuddle and treasure. He works very hard to provide for our family. You will learn very quickly that just about every moment he is not at work he is hanging out with us. Some things you might want to know about him, he loves God, Mommy, your sister, brother, and you. He loves art, surfing, and teaching. He is for the most part, the calmest person you will ever meet. You will also learn that he is probably the funniest person you will ever meet – you are so lucky to have him for a daddy!
This is your big sister J. She has prayed for you almost nightly since she was three. She is five years old. She can’t wait to help feed you, carry you, and show you off to everyone she knows. She can’t wait to help you pick out your earrings on your fifth birthday, like she did on hers. She can’t wait to introduce you to our cat Mercy Mae. You will likely argue with her over clothes and other things when you are teens, but for now she is willing to share everything with you. She is so thankful to have a baby sister. You are her favorite little treasure.
This is your big brother S. I should warn you, he is a tiny bit crazy. That being said, he is the most loving and loyal little man I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. He is also huge for his age, and will no doubt protect you throughout your life. He is funny and sweet. He is adopted too! He came from a wee bit further away, he was born in Russia. He has told me many times that I can let him take care of all your diapers, even the ‘stinky poops’…as enticing as it sounds to pass those off to someone else, I think I am gonna have to find something else for your big brother to help with.
We said after adopting your brother we knew we wanted to adopt more, but decided to only to adopt a child with special needs. They are the hardest to place. Many simply never get families, we adopt because we want to be a family to those who didn’t naturally have one. We found a little site called Reece’s Rainbow a few months after we brought your brother home, and we have cyber stalked it ever since.
This is O, she is not your sister, but without her we never would have found you. She used to be an orphan living in Eastern Europe. We committed to adopting her in October 2010. It’s a complicated process, we can share more with you later. On May 4, 2011 we got a heartbreaking email letting us know that O had been adopted by another family. We loved her and worried about her and worked so hard to get to her for months, only to hear she was gone. Shortly after that other doors began closing…making the idea of committing to another child in her country at this time dis-concerning, to say the least. So everything we had worked for seemed so open ended, we were broken hearted at the loss. We had everything prepared for our little ‘Ollie Claire’ and now had no idea what to do or where to go. We were hurt by the process and were hesitant to submit paper anywhere. We wanted to take time to mourn but also worried about paperwork expiring.
About a WEEK later our path made a sharp turn towards you. A reader of mommy’s blog, who we have never met in person emailed me saying essentially ‘I know you are looking for a special needs child and I don’t know if this is too early or if you are interested in a local adoption, but they are having a hard time matching this birth mother….’ I don’t think my heart or brain will ever be able to fully reconcile the fact that had we adopted O we never would have been able to adopt you. I wish with everything inside of me that I could have you both, my brain understands that is impossible, but it doesn’t stop what my heart feels. It was a bittersweet journey to you, I don’t think we would have found you unless the timing had been just so. We will always miss the one who brought us to you, we are thankful she is in a family as well, and she is even more special because our journey to her really was (without us knowing) our journey to you.
So what made you so hard to place? Among other things, you have a cleft lip. When the family originally matched with you found out that information in a 4D Ultrasound they pulled out of the adoption process less than 2 weeks before your due date. That just does not make sense to me. I’m sure the idea of needing to go through surgery with their tiny baby just was overwhelming, we are scared too…..
Your birth parents are very sweet people. They love each other very much and would care for you if they could. They both love art and Disneyland, and they were so happy to hear that we do too! Someday we will tell you more, but please know you were created in love and the second they knew about you they made the best decision they could for you. She went to the doctor and also asked for a family that could give you a good home. Your birth mother was so brave when she had you and we will forever be humbled by the choice she made to allow us to adopt you.
Welcome to the world and welcome to our family. You are absolutely perfect in our eyes. We look forward to helping you achieve every dream you have.
All my love ~
Mommy
Email:
That is beautiful, congratulations to you and your family.
To DAK -
I think it is sad that you focused so much on adopting this child, yet pulled out in the end. Why? This was not a “loss” as you called it. You MADE this decision for one reason or another. If you feel guilty about your decision that is yours to own and not blame on another. Kate stated the fact … you DECIDED to not adopt this baby after you discovered her medical condition. Considering that you DECIDED to not follow through with adopting this child up after you called her your daughter, you should be relieved to hear that another loving family found her and is willing to provide her the medical needs she requires to live a healthy life.
You aren’t taking away this mother’s happiness from this moment and her future with her new daughter. All you are doing is lashing out and letting people witness it.
Congratulations. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you all the best with your sweet girl.
Beautiful post, my friend! It is so true that when one door closes another opens. You are a brave woman with an amazing heart. You new daughter is joining a lovely family and I can’t wait to meet her!
Amazing letter… you (and your family) have the biggest heart! I’m so happy for all of you and I can’t wait to meet her. Congratulations again and let me know if you need anything
thanks so much!! we were totally prepared for a 2 year old & had NOTHING for a baby (we got rid of all the baby baby stuff) – but in the 3 weeks we had we got almost everything we needed handed down – all we had to buy really was a car seat! So many people have been so excited during this whole journey we’ve already got people saying ‘you’ve got a free babysitter any time you want!’ LOL!
anyway – thank you SO much! it is so great to know she is already loved & we are so supported!
I have been following your blog for quite some time and was heartbroken for you when you lost Claire. Your story is amazing and your family has been incredibly blessed with beautiful Charlotte. Congratulations!
Ok, the tears are rolling. What a beautiful letter and I’m just so happy for you.
You are a very amazing lady and family. Congratulations on your new love. I wanted to tell you that when I got to the part about the cleft lip and that family backing out, I began crying. My younger brother who is 27 years old, was born w/cleft, lip & palate. He spent the first 17 years of his life going through 18 surgeries. He’s the handsomest man I know (OK my husband & boys may be more handsome). Your daughter is so special, and I know it b/c I lived it. Love will surround your family through this beautiful time in your life.
thanks all!
Congrats to you and your family!
Like everyone else I have been following your journey from afar, and knowing how much you have prayed for this, it is a blessing to see it come to fruition, though not quite as you had planned. Bless you for being so giving and loving to adopt children
You made me cry!! Congrats on the new baby!! What an amazing gift her birth parents gave you! I’m in awe of the women that make that selfless decision! It’s such an admirable act.
Congratulations, Kate! And thank you for sharing your beautiful letter…
CONGRATULATIONS to you and your family! What a wonderful blessing, a brand new baby, and a great father’s day gift
I love her name!
CONGRATS!!! So happy for you and your family!!! I read your blog for local deals but I LOVE that you shared this story too! So beautiful!!!
Mackenzie
what a precious story, funny how God works! what a lucky little girl charlotte is! thank you for sharing your story, definitely brought tears to my eyes! enjoy your little baby girl!! <3
Congratulations Kate! I am so happy for you and your family. She is just gorgeous and is so lucky to have you as her Mommy.
What a beautiful story! Welcome to a wonderful family little one.
So beautiful. I can’t even say anything, I’m speechless right now – such a blessing for you all.
Congratulations Kate! What a beautiful letter. so happy for you!! She is so lucky to have you all as her family!
You’re making me tear up! Congratulations to you and your family. She is a lucky girl to have found such a loving family to be a part of.
)
By the way, Charlotte is my little one’s middle name
What an amazing letter…. I am just in awe of God’s supernatural ways. Congratulations!
Through tears, i say “Congratulations”!!
It’s evident that Your whole family has so much love to give to your newest “blessing”–i wish for you and your family much wellness and love
Congratulations on your newest addition. Bless your heart for adopting! I am so happy for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this open letter to your newborn baby. I wish you many, many blessings as your family continues to grow. Take care and God bless you all!
This is beautiful Kate. Congratulations to you and your amazing family! I am so happy for you.
So beautifully written, Kate. You show your loving mommy heart… thank you for giving us a peek into your adoption journey. Your story is inspiring and an amazing testimony.
Everything makes me cry these days but especially this! What a great post Kate and congratulations on your new addition. I can’t wait to meet her!!
Kate, this is an amazing story and you have an even more amazing family! I can’t wait to meet your beautiful little girl!
Congratulations, Kate! You and your family are such amazing people.
Congratulations Kate! I am so happy for you and your family! Hope to meet her someday. All the best.
If you knew Kate, you would know that her intentions are completely true. If you knew what Kate and her family had gone through, you would know that their loves as a family is what motivates all of their actions. If you could put yourself in Kate’s shoes you would see how lucky she considers herself to be Charlotte’s mom. No one should try to take away their joy for any reason at all. Leave them in their joy regardless of your feelings and be happy this little angel has found a family happy to open their hearts and welcome her in as their own. Kate you are wonderful… You’ve inspired me and many others. I am so happy Charlotte will be in your arms from here on out!
Beyond excited for you! Congratulations to you all! Charlotte is simply perfect, and wonderfully created.
Ahh, Kate, what a beautiful letter, one that your daughter will be inspired by when she’s old enough to read it. She was meant for you, and you for her, and your family has grown exponentially in love with her addition.
What a blessing for all of you to have been placed in each others arms and united as a family. My prayers are with you as you start your journey as a fivesome, as well as prayers for her birthparents
Oh Kate, such a beautiful letter to YOUR daughter!!!
I have always strongly believed that everything happens for a reason, and though it hurt you to loose Claire, God KNEW exactly what he was doing. He knew that Charlotte was NOT matched with the perfect family, he knew that yours was the perfect Family
You are the answer to a prayer for her, and knowing that another family could just “drop her” because of her special needs is not a family that deserves to have her, at all!!!
I completely love the honesty you have chosen to have with Charlotte, about everything and I see a beautiful and loving bond already
Always know that your Family is the Family that God saw as being perfect for each other
You and your family are BLESSED. Congrats and enjoy. Big hearts you all have. Very happy for you.
I can only echo what the others have said! Congrats, it’s amazing and blessed and I can’t wait to meet her!!! *hugs*
Hi Kate,
You don’t know me but I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your adoption journey with us. Your letter to your little girl was so heartfelt and you had me in tears right from the start. You have such a beautiful family and I’m so happy for you all. My husband and I also adopted a little boy that had complication at birth and know first hand how much prayer and love from friends and family will guide you along during this time. He’s now 14months and right on target with everything. We are so in love with him. Having Michelle with you during this time is such a great feeling she is so up lifting and truly amazing. Congrats to you and your family and sending you hugs and many prayers. God bless .
Kate, I got goose bumps reading this beautiful blog to your new little girl. I am so happy for you all and I can’t wait to meet her. Congratulations!!!
Jamie
Congrats! What an amazing story to share with us all. My concern is how the first family is being treated here. They must have been heart-sick when they realized they could not comtinue with the adoption. Why bash them? It’s not about the adults here, it’s about a beautiful little girl! Enjoy her and know that she is a gift from God!
Congrats Kate, Harry, Silas and Josie!! I am elated for you guys. My mom and I are both sending much love. I hope you guys can feel it. Have fun with your little girl. She is already a little miracle. It has been a pleasure getting to know your family and seeing your kids grow up on my computer screen. They are beautiful. Wishing you some sleepful nights. If you’re not sleeping, chances are I’m not either because I may be writing a paper. (yeah, I have no life) so, if you are up at 2:00 A.M. and don’t feel like talking to yourself I will be here ready to have a convo.
Again, I am so happy for your family and I know Charlotte will bring lots of joy to you all. Please tell her how much I love her and that I will be watching her grow every day. Love, Tati
Kate, Kate, Kate….
What an amazingly sweet letter! What a gift for Charlotte to read someday! I am so very happy for you guys and can’t wait to meet sweet Charlotte in person. She is one blessed baby girl to be in your family. Love you guys!! xoxo
Well said Red Lotus momma!!
P.S. Kate….we got your back!!!!!!
Also, I heart you.
*we edited out the comment by ‘DAK’ as well as my response to her – normally I do not take out comments, but she wrote some things that were not true. She also crossed some boundaries as far as protecting both our birth mother and our daughter. DAK is not the matched family we are talking about – DAK was never matched with this baby, she is just someone who did not accept her referral and now is feeling remorseful. She chose to lash out at me for loving our daughter regardless of her potential disabilities – I don’t really get that. I only write this because there are several people who responded to her and I kept their responses.